A while back I read a great article called: 3 Things Professional Women Should Stop Apologizing For by Amber Mac. Over the years I’ve watched and listened as women and girls have significantly increased their usage of the phrase “I’m sorry” and I’d like to address the issue from my point of view (POV).
The National Science Foundation reported:
Our brains produce as many as 50,000 thoughts per day; (no wonder we’re often wondering why we are tired). They go on to report that ninety-five percent of these thoughts are repeated daily and reflect the mindset or beliefs we hold that lead to those 50,000 thoughts. – (taken from) Mindsets Accelerated Success Conditioning.
For those who are stuck in the “I’m sorry” mode; I would suggest focusing on your thoughts and words all of the time. Doing this means living a present-focused and conscious life. Thoughts and words have power and energy; and when said often enough with energy, they manifest in this physical realm. In fact, everything you see, touch, feel, smell etc. was once a thought. What are you saying repeatedly and heatedly? What do you want to speak into existence? When I was a kid my parents constantly berated me to “think before you speak”. What I understand now is that although the thought may occur, I have the choice whether or not to dwell upon and/or speak the thought. I choose to “flip the script”; it’s one of the methods I use with my “Thought Therapy” clients (women business owners).
I challenge you to think first:
a. Why you are sorry?
b. Are you really sorry?
c. Is using the phrase a habit? If so, it is one to lose quickly
d. What are you feeling when you say “I’m sorry”?
e. Where is this coming from? (review your past)
f. What is your body language when you say “I’m sorry”?
I could go on however, I’m sure you get the gist of the exercise, let’s continue.
I had an assistant that continually said I’m sorry. It was really my first experience that I remember being exposed to this mindset. Can I tell you, I was appalled; in fact the usage frequency made me want to…. Aaaaargh! (I won’t say it). I would stop to breathe and reset and then ask her to become aware of saying “I’m sorry” and to stop doing so. Once, you are aware you then have the choice of what to say or do. I would even ask what she was sorry about? There wasn’t an answer.
In the workplace or in business; being continually apologetic denotes weakness; lack of confidence; uncertainty about your intention; lacking strength; indecisivness; and I could go on. Ladies it’s time to grow some GRIT, a backbone and take off the rose colored glasses. Get busy working on being your best self and you’ll have no time to be sorry about your choices, looks, life, decisions, etc. When you are intentional about what you are doing sorry is not a part of the equation.
Recently, at church, as I was exiting the sanctuary which was crowded, I lightly brushed against a young girl (I’d say she was a pre-teen); she immediately said “I’m sorry”. I began to walk away but I just couldn’t do it. I had to speak, share, enlighten. I shared with her that she hadn’t done anything that warranted an apology. I also encouraged her to focus on removing the phrase from her vocabulary and why. Save the apology for when it’s really needed and use the term “I apologize…..”
Seriously ladies, what are you sorry about? Is it who you are; what you stand for; how you look, your life, your actions? Rather than be sorry, really look into your inner mirror and make a decision on what you’d like to change and then do the work! When you know whose you are (your Source) and who you are your confidence soars and you’ll feel the power of your Source flow through you.
As you increase your self-love, your backbone will straighten and strengthen; apologies will be reserved for the proper times and reasons. And when you feel it; don’t run from it –Embrace Your Greatness.
Living a grateful, thankful, intentional and purpose-led life.
Stephanie D. Burroughs
Speaker | Trainer | Navigator | Author
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